I now have been given 7 bridal magazines by friends and family. (I did buy the People mag edition "Brad and Angelina Wedding of the Century".) There is a strong theme in all of them that the wedding must be customized to be your own special day. Many, many articles are devoted to personalizing, customizing, individualizing the event. Which is interesting when the "event" is a traditional ritual, and the whole point is that you're embarking on the same journey taken by friends, family, and most everyone you know at some point in their lives.
I spent a lot of time thinking about this before the engagement. I don't need a white dress, or a diamond, or a ceremony in a church, or a big party, I thought to myself. If I don't identify with those traditions, I'll just "personalize" it. But leaving this template is not easy, as I realized when I tried to find unique wedding venues. I realized that the internet is not set up to help you really personalize a wedding - you've got to dig. In Minneapolis at least, there are some thirty-odd venues that are catered by D'Amico. I'm not saying they're not a fine caterer, but it just feeds the mold that brides are channeled into through planning sites. Sure, offbeat bride will show you a picture of a bride in a pink dress instead of white, but they still show the bride in a dress.
What I'm trying to say, is that I've been fooled - dazzled - into thinking that personalizing the event is something I can control through purchasing trinkets (the right band, the right dress, the right cake that all perfectly sums up our entire essence as a couple). Why is the ritual of a wedding celebration considered a vehicle for self-expression?I spent a lot of time thinking about this before the engagement. I don't need a white dress, or a diamond, or a ceremony in a church, or a big party, I thought to myself. If I don't identify with those traditions, I'll just "personalize" it. But leaving this template is not easy, as I realized when I tried to find unique wedding venues. I realized that the internet is not set up to help you really personalize a wedding - you've got to dig. In Minneapolis at least, there are some thirty-odd venues that are catered by D'Amico. I'm not saying they're not a fine caterer, but it just feeds the mold that brides are channeled into through planning sites. Sure, offbeat bride will show you a picture of a bride in a pink dress instead of white, but they still show the bride in a dress.
-Brooke
Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.
