Two weeks ago my best friend Peter proposed to me. It was beautiful and I cried, and we hugged, and I felt really lucky. We called and texted everyone. I slept really soundly. It was nice.
The next morning we went to breakfast. We started talking and laughing about the guest list. As I slowly woke up over coffee, my brain triggered into planning mode. I'm somewhat of an obsessive personality. When I have a project, it's all I think about. This was my new project.
Except that I've never really wanted a wedding. I don't like big dresses and I don't like the spotlight, or diamonds, or even cake. I never spent time as a child dreaming about my big day or cutting out style pictures. I'm offended by the notion of spending $20,000 on one night, of wearing a dress only once and, most significantly, all the competition and comparison that is the wedding circuit. At least I was up to the day before I was engaged. Ask me three weeks ago and I would have said that I wanted an 18 month engagement resulting in a wedding picnic on a farm somewhere, maybe including a bonfire. Certainly a nice option. But by the morning after the engagement it started to sink in that this was a big deal. This is a commitment for the next several decades. Perhaps a ring that costs more than a few bucks would be nice? By day two of the engagement, it hit me that this really ought to be a bit formal. It's not just a party for my friends - we need a location with amenities for the venerable family members. And a meal that will do us proud. By the end of the week we were estimating our guest list at 300 people, and suddenly I'm planning an EVENT. And all I really want is to get on with the marriage.
So how do I reconcile the values of "single Brooke" with the new-found pressures (and I must admit, desires) of "engaged Brooke"? I feel like Jekyll and Hyde, if I may be a bit dramatic about it.
-Brooke
Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.
